first contact
Tag
thousandyardstare
In a skirmish line, the squad runs around the wire of the base. We will get gassed today.
All my lovers are junkies
Kenny comes down like a kite wrestling the wind, leaping from gust to gust, pushing skyward against the inevitable fall to earth, but always with an eye to the ground, looking for that patch of grass, a soft landing instead of concrete. Even an astronaut succumbs to gravity sometimes.
Unhappy Woman
Me and my little brother, Isaac, sat in our living room on a Tuesday. By “little brother,” I don’t mean “little,” but more like “younger.” And by “younger,” I don’t mean much younger. Unfortunately for us, I’m talking thirty-six and forty.
Buying Beer for Underaged Kids
I meet groups of 16 or 17 year olds a block away from the Circle K and they hand me too many crumpled bills to buy them a case of this or a mix bag of six packs to split when their parents think they’re at a friend’s house.
Among the Cattle / 15 Ways
For a while after the aliens came and started sucking everyone up into their little space ships there was a tremendous panic, but eventually it just became a thing that happened sometimes.
The Genius of Evil
Hello. My name is Todd, and I’m an alcoholic. I guess.
On Recent Paleontological Delights
“It is not often that we find megafauna of this size in tropical climates,” claimed the university paleontologist.
Out on Bail and Drunk and on the Run in Minnesota
Out on bail. I was as free as a fox in the meadow. The judge had restricted me to the four-corners of the state. That was fine.
The Blinding Light
I’m still fumbling with the dial on the combination lock when the second bell rings. I’m going to be late.
Chicken Burrito, Naked Like My Yearning
I’ve never been to Taco Bell. In fact, not only have I never been, but it is legally impossible for me to go there.