You were so small we joked you were a kitten until you died of kidney failure

I found the Tramadol. He’s gently
twitching. Cries a little.
I brought the crate near him but now I’m
getting cold feet again.
I feel like I’ll hurt him just putting him
in it or carrying him to the car.
He’s so little.
I’m sorry I’m dumping all this on you.
I’m on the main floor but I just don’t
know.
Maybe I’ll go upstairs but not yet.
I don’t want him to be alone but I get the
impression he wants to be alone.
But I think when it’s my turn to die on
the basement floor I want to be alone but
know someone who loves me is nearby
rooting for me.
I gave him a generous dose and he’s
drifted off.
He’s either stopped breathing entirely or
they’re so faint I can’t detect them. He
looks peaceful.