This piece is a response narrative for the Autofiction x Worldbuilding submissions call.  It was inspired by this Autofictional seed. For this call, we asked people to write a response to another author’s autofictional submission, based on the original piece and this bit of cryptic world lore.

This, and other Worldbuilding pieces are being published to a Wiki, which will allow contributors to edit, link, and otherwise annotate their work and that of their peers.

Venerable Conrad Knickerbocker

Man in his 70s dead: He died while vaulting with a racing tractor outside Edvöks: “Dressed sharply,” a family member said

Man dead: Died in a motorcycle accident in central Evan Kinds: “A bike he’d hired until tomorrow,” the rental company said

Lumberjack died after being knocked down by a timber truck outside Atöm marsh: “I’m a lumberjack, too, and I’m OK,” a relative said

Over 1000 Swished folk queued to meet Bianca: “We haven’t slept for days.”

The shelves are empty in News ed’s alcohol monopoly after a hacker attack: “At least there’s champagne and beer left.”

The famous singer, Evot Naess, is dead: “She transgressed to the catholic church,” a vicar said

There’s a snake loose in the Euro visionaries village: “we can’t identify the species,” organizers said

A swordsman, who went on the run attacking police in Khan varus, is condemned to psychiatric care: “I’m swapping my tepee for sheltered housing,” he said

Police have granted a Quran burning in the lead up to the Euro visionaries song contest: “Is this part of the show?”

Dynamite has been found in a children’s park near Dörmstuns: “This place is crackers,” a local remarked

The honey traps and leaks have been a catastrophe for News ed’s police

An axeman with a queer smile on his face is being hunted by police in Tone Äss

Unemployed man in court on Ginger fraud charges

Massive fight in a laundry room, a women is suspected to have assaulted her neighbor after lending her washing-up powder

Kangaroo on the run, police hunt ongoing

The musician, Prince Fugger-babenhuasen, is dead: “He was hopeless,” his widow said

New study: This is how Swished people become satisfied with less portions of food

Armed minor suspected to have robbed a shop: “Little bastard, when he left he looked damn sorry,” the shopkeeper said

A viper has been found in an apartment block. It hisses, and hisses, and hisses

A man has been shot south of Loch Tomsk: “He challenged everyone to a fight, but we all backed down,” a student onlooker claimed

A man has been seriously injured after being shot outside Loch Tomsk: “His strategy was all wrong,” police said

Drunk driver loses it in village churchyard – rammed all the gravestones

“My son is like a ghost,” new reports on the Dishruk fox’s life on the run. Father incandescent

Dead dog fished out the water near Ömlam: “It was hairless.”

Authorities in crisis meeting about the exploding buses in Karlma

Swished folk are incandescent that dogshit and prams can coexist in the same salons

Finally, Mother’s day. Take the opportunity to hug your mamma: “age cannot whither her, nor custom stale her infinite vanity.”

Man dead after a crash with an electric scooter in Tripe: “We’ve already reduced the price of petrol,” a government spokesperson said

A paddler out paddling was shot with an airgun near Nartä: “It’s healthy for your core but not when this happens.”

A man brandishing a saw is being hunted on a beach in Wyoran: “This is fucking ridiculous, where the fuck is this guy,” an onlooker said

Four youths in hospital, crashed into a tree north of Aslaved: “The river sings a lonesome song, of battles fought by right and wrong,” police said

Big reveal following research – this is how many Swished men are unsatisfied with their sex life: “Sometimes it’s hard to love someone until they are gone,” one man said

The documentary filmmaker, Conrad Knickerbocker, is dead, he was just 41 years old: “Never heard of him,” someone said

Chocolate mousse is being recalled, it might contain small metal parts: “Conciliatory news given we’re poor,” a child said

Lantchips are being recalled, reports suggest they might contain traces of milk: “Traces of milk?” someone said

Cows on the run — 17 cows have ran 1km out into the sea: “It’s messy,” an onlooker said

Glenn Berglind is testing News ed’s cheapest electric cars: “This is the kind of crap you get for your money.”

Grietje received an SMS following the police’s controversial drug alarm: “I was quite alarmed.”

Several moose are wandering around in central News Ed, a Swished man on the street told me: “fuck it, shoot them – shoot the lot of them.”

8,200 people are going to get a SMS from the police today, their telephone numbers have been gathered by the drug squad: “I’m still quite alarmed,” Grietje said

There will be a message about aggressive mosquitoes today: “Well, at least the birds will not be short of anything to eat,” an official spokesperson said

Swished Ginger con man is condemned: Two and half years in the slammers

Investigation: The woman on FansOnly who was his own daughter

Naj Eal-menu drove 138 on an 80 road: “That was daft, I admit it – I’ll probably have to buy a bike.”

Pensioner inherited a billion bucks – donated the lot; his reaction: “Indescribable joy.”

Someone has had a heart attack during the Swished marathon

Maria is tired of her doctor’s rules: “Fuck it, I’ve had enough, no more.”

Horse shot in a pen rushed to the animal hospital, empty gun casings found near the scene, “I photograph horses all the time,” an onlooker said

Man crushed to death by a lawnmower near Byron: “He liked taking pictures of his things,” his partner said

Frisco Tom is investing $3 billion in Swished IA

All trains have ground to a halt: “There is minor damage on all of the carriages on the blue line – follow the graffiti on the walls, a sound guide home,” police said