Treading Water

Treading water.
Descending.
Sinking into a mundane abyss--
         There’s no moving up, for the air’s too heavy
                  A mass lays down upon me like a blanket of lead
                           Nothing to care for,
                                     Only cold, pale indifference…
Descending,
                           Still treading in the water.
I think my legs are numb----in fact I feel nothing anymore.
           Oh, did I say I’ll talk to you later?
           Well damn, I was gonna, but
Fuck I feel lost,
           Fuck I just wanna sleep
                      For fucks sake, give me air.
Yes I have free time,               but is time free if I’m not?
I’m going to do it today,
But now today’s goal is yesterday’s failure.
           But now today is yesterday
                     and
                                I’m
                                          still
                                                    fucking
                                                                      here
Stasis.
Did I stop treading?
I don’t know any more,
           I haven’t breathed in years……………………..………………………………………..
Descending...
                ….                             Water, water everywhere and how the boards did shrink.
             …...                                          Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink.
           …….
              ….
                …
                ..
               .     

Fading

 
Laying in oblivion,
I find myself in a spiritual quarantine
My sanity fading from isolation
Next to my mind and spirit
Too many drinks bury me below the surface.
Fading
Fading slow
Amist my thoughts and regrets;
My dreams and night terrors
Lusting for conversation with her
Craving her wayward vibes
The taste still reverberates on my tongue
Fading
Fading echoes
Pour a bottle over my coffin as you
Lay me in my disease
And snub out my last embers with your toes
Keep your Chanel but
Look at me with your bluest eyes one last time
Fading
Fading gaze
Misremembering the past
As the cold blanket of the abyss
Wraps tight around my corpse
I know it's nearing time for me to give in
Not much remains of my soul
Fading memories
Fading soul
Fading slow but evermore
Lost with my hand stretched outward
Lost with my mind shut off
I chose my fate when I embraced
The abyss; isolation
Fading
Fading into oblivion