Artwork by Celia Johnson.

some asshole in a car

hiding in someone else’s garbage can
and listening to eminem
on a sony compact disc player
with electronic shock protection
and also fully armed after
getting married in an IKEA,
yeah that’s a great poem
i say to myself as i hide
in someone else’s garbage can
listening to eminem
on a sony compact disc player
with electronic shock protection
and also fully armed after
getting married in an IKEA

i crack the lid and see the
cars go by
it’s a busy road
but the speed limit is 25
so i get a good view
a good purview
everything is my purview
i see a truck pass
i have no doubt that…
i see a brand new range rover
the man at the wheel looks
like he has an AR across his lap
his face was done up in monstrous
drag
like a sioux warrior
the license plate said Mike B
more cars
the next
i am peeking out from under the lid
about to shoot my gun off
but i see an old pontiac
i’m on track #13
its called cum on everybody
and features dina rae
i wonder if the guy in
the ranger rover with the AR has a murder
on his mind
then i see an old pontiac
a bonneville from 98
and i say to myself
i ain’t seen that kind of ride in a grip

the police report said i had a thousand yard stare

stoned from matts store bought edibles
and a few roadies from the ride
i was there by myself
while everyone else was with
their husbands and wives and kids
i hit the rum hard
i fell asleep in the bounce house
at matts kids party
i cant wait to have kids
but i need to get a wife
and a good job
i need a pension
i need a better job
not the one i have
yeah its free food after my shift so what
it will never pay for someones college

they shook me up
matt and his wife
i was passed out in the little corner
they tried to get me out of there…
i got a little loud…
matt said leave
matts wife said leave
i could see their kids through the screen door
wondering about me…
but i was too fucked up to get going
so they did a little welfare call
and some suburban cops showed
they said they had to make sure i was alright
they said they just wanted to make sure i was safe
they said we know, we know
they said you’re okay, you’re okay
matts wife was looking out the window
on the second floor
that set me off
so i started yelling
and struggling…
i called the female cop a cunt
i said you didn’t go to law school like i did
then they took me down to the floor of the bounce house
pretty hard
and we kind of bounced around and
fought like a few shit kids would

then they got the manacles on me
that’s the word i used for the cuffs
like i was on my high horse with words
i said oh the fucking manacles are coming out!
then they got me on my feet
after a little taser job
the female cop did the report
she tried to talk to me at the back of the squad
but all she saw was a thousand yard stare

translations 

beat up in a bar again
lost my wallet but not my pride
nothing has changed since high
school in key west
my daddy is in the shower
i call him pet and he knows nothing
about the fight in the bar or its origins
mental note to contrive something to
explain bruises and torn shirt, see
i call him pet even though it’s
his penthouse and all
my pet’s a writer
i pick up his busted copy
of the dictionary of american slang 
p. 737 – “rough trade”
          n. A tough or sadistic
          homosexual, as one who affects mean
          ness, wears boots, etc.; a male homo
          sexual who prefers anal intercourse for
          sadistic reasons; a male prostitute who
          caters to such homosexuals. 1965: 
          “The gay boys call us ‘rough trade’!
          We’re the ones they date… We’re the
          ones they buy presents for…” Shel
          Silverstein, “Silverstein on Fire Island,”
          Playboy, Aug. Orig. homosexual use.
          See trade (def. 2).
i put it down, do gin injections
i pick up a copy of the brothers k., a gift
          from my pet
          the one with the award-winning
          new translation
          by Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky
but it doesn’t say what awards…
the ny times book review said that “one
finally gets the musical whole
of Dostoevsky’s original.”
          but even on the first page it describes
          old karamazov’s death as
          “dark and tragic”
unlike McDuff, who calls it
“tragic and fishy”
i’m a McDuff loyalist god damnit
last gin hits of the night, juniper heaven
my pet walks in, freshly showered
he is in his towel and his boots
(a pair of mens cali trail by k swiss)
i shy away
later i google shel silverstein and find out he dropped
dead in key west
then i’m asleep again
back into the haunts of
the marble orchards