Last year, Twitter’s staff revealed that they had discovered thousands of accounts affiliated with the Internet Research Agency, an organization sensationalized in the press as a “Russian troll farm.” It’s widely believed that these twitter accounts were part of a larger Russian intelligence operation to sow discord, encourage disillusionment in American democracy, and potentially influence the outcome of the 2016 presidential election.

FiveThirtyEight, data journalism mecca and  this editor’s favorite non-misery-adjacent website, recently published an archive of almost 3 million tweets associated with these Russian troll accounts. Certainly this archive is an incredible resource that will be providing insights (and dissertation fodder) to political scientists and historians for years to come. But, here at Misery Tourism, we don’t give a shit about that. So instead I loaded a sample of them into a predictive text emulator and wrote some bad poetry.

As with my previous predictive text posts, I used Jaime Brew’s pt-voicebox emulator to compose the poems below. The titles, capitalization, punctuation, and formatting of the poems were added after the fact, but all of the text comes from the emulator, which provides a limited list of options as you write similar to the suggestions offered by a smartphone’s autocorrect feature. These options are based on the frequency with which words appear in the source text.

I was going to close this introduction with a perfunctory “Have fun!,” but apparently you can’t have fun in Russian, so, uh, here’s some god damn poetry.

News

NEWS

Breaking:
Princess Bride scene sparks outrage
from conservative groups
over Islamic extremism
and more.

NEWS
NEWS

Knife attack victim thanks patriots
who shot fleeing black teen
in his kid’s school board meeting.

Green

i voted green and
they call me sexist but
i dont even care
its all corrupt

Berlin

You see my ghost in Berlin,
so I am happier without tweets.

T’Challa

Socialism started with the beautiful black mothers
one day after the fall of young pharaoh Netjeretkhau
to the white supremacist dog gasser
at his final resting place
in Hell.

Clickbait

Avocados with our reparations:
this video exposes
American marxist monopoly
on black student debt.

Is it 1979?
Trump supporter threatened group
of influential middle easterners
and then blocked them
on soundcloud.

Baby Jesus

baby jesus hears our cries
but he will not vote
oh wait um

Tiffany

Dumb animals have feelings,
but don’t you retweet
Tiffany Trump.

Legacy

Are we supposed to hurt
the first time someone says,
“Suck it up ugly,”
and then kills his family
to save his legacy,
as you walk away.

trump tower

trump tower reminds us all
who our enemies are
and they destroyed
ferguson flint baltimore
or deface this country
by not cracking down
on protesters who called for
violent hatebased violence
against white students
who really just need to be treated
with such total agreement and
you wonder why america
is waking up with
a gun in both hands

u r

u r racist
u r loser
u r old
u r sick
u r not funny
especially
when u
try to
block debate

rt

on twitter for years;
maybe someone should listen.

rt if you want more
about being too weak to stop.

Coffee Filter

Coffee filter in Syria
rests on a sill,
without knowing.

Theodicy

Secret Service detail emerges
from their wicked ways
to conceal Pizzagate arrests
via amazon contractors
using bleachbit tools,
and Hillary has pneumonia in her blood.

Not only did Moscow vote Trump and Putin
in to the White House for sure
on hacked voting machines
from illegally deployed #usarmy staff
that they paid cash for vans on tv
during violent demonstration,

jet fighters entered the DNC
and Bernie Bros are Russian bots
and bogus Russian military heroes
fighting for their animalistic benefit.

When companies allow Pence to say
anything, disparagingly, about Benghazi
without consequences,

why didn’t god help?

Hope

not sure hope is eternal in this case
anyone else tired sad and pathetic
watching the same woman
for a long time now
work out
and can’t remember
her husband michael
lol

Rare Pepe

not all pepes
are the true face
of tragedy
and his pathetic god
will never turn around
and do lewd acts
for his dirty war machine

John Oliver

North Dakota dictator
Kim Jung Trump
will ban hard truth bombs,
and then turn his back
on your tinfoil hat sunrise.

not afraid

you know i’m not afraid,
but #hillaryclinton
herself destroyed
a big fish sandwich
to keep her doctor lost,
and don’t ask why
podesta’s brother runs ads
in new jersey train station
using someone’s soul
for his failed deal
with the saudis.

Hate Speech Couplets

Lynch Obama and cheer as they stomp
their disgraceful liberal heads into the swamp.

Kompromat
for your bullshit network news.

Duterte is destroyer
of all sexual orientations.

I voted illegally;
hope everyone won’t report that.

CNN is begging to stop mass shootings but
Dylann Roof doesn’t care about black trans women.

Stocks plunge as much as dreamers do.
Die.

A national disgrace and fury like you always love;
exactly what liberals want.