No Hard Centers
 
Miss Hooker's my Sunday School teacher
and I'm going to marry her when I’m
old like she is, or old enough. I'm 10
now and she's 25 or so and when
I'm 16 and she's, let's see, 31
and hasn't married any other man
not that I'm a man exactly now but
should wind up that way unless I'm killed dead
somehow, then I'll propose to her on one
knee, I mean I'll be the one on one knee,
probably my left because my right hurts
and who's to say it won't hurt even then,
and hand her a bunch of flowers and some
candy and right after she's smelled them, I mean
the flowers, and maybe peeked in the box
of candy, chocolate, no hard centers,
and I've seen the look on her face although
she may give it at least two different
times or maybe changes expression here
and there, I'll hit her right between the eyes,
that's a figure of speech and a sound one
unless she ends up cross-eyed, with a big
 
ring and she'll stick her hand out after she's
put the flowers and the candy, one or
the other, on something, I don't care which
but if I had to choose I'd say she holds
the flowers in her free hand, which should be
the right, and stick out the third finger of
her left hand, which is the hand closest to
her heart, and I'll slip the ring 'round it and
she'll say Thanks and hold that hand out flat and
admire it. And next she'll say I accept
your gallant proposal, which I'd figured
because she let me put the ring on first
and that's a way of saying Yes without
words, unless she's forgotten to say No
or was just so overwhelmed by my love
that she wasn't thinking when she let me
put it on, which is kind of dishonest
of me, more like a trick, but I'm in love
pretty deep, or is it deeply, I can
always ask her, we've got plenty of time
together, at least until one of us 
 
is dead. Then I'll get to my feet and we'll
look each other in the eyes as if there's
something to see in there which we really
can't see ourselves and I'll lean toward her
and she toward me and our eyes will close,
no peeking because this is the moment,
and we'll kiss each other on the lips if
we don't miss and even if we do who
cares, it might even be worth a few laughs
 
and Father always tells me Son, keep 'em
smilin', and winks at me, usually
after Mother tells him to shush when he
asks what Miss Hooker taught me at Sunday
School today and if she teaches as well as
she dresses, heh heh, and I'll say, Saul, Saul,
why do you persecute me? and he says
Don't call me Saul or even Paul, my name's
Father, and we laugh and laugh and even
Mother but I can tell Miss Hooker's on
her mind and last week she said that any
self-respecting Sunday School teacher won't
wear open-toe shoes and paint her toenails
and Father said, There's nothing wrong with that,
you were young once. So there was no dessert.
 
After we kiss we'll hug for a while and
my nose will be near her ear, not that she's
got just one but I don't have two noses
and I'll smell her perfume and maybe blow
on it and feel her hug get stronger and
that's where you have to stop if you're not spliced
and stand a bit away from each other
and then shake hands. And then I'll take her home
where we'll sit on the sofa but not too
close, otherwise we'll be at it again,
and make wedding and honeymoon plans. I
like Ferris Wheels because you go up and
around, over and over, like two socks
in the dryer but she wants something more
romantic, if you can imagine that, so
it looks like we're going somewhere pricey
 
but a fellow only gets married once,
that is if he has any sense or if
he has any sense never gets married
at all, I forgot who said that but it
wasn't Jesus. Maybe Mickey Rooney.
But of course Miss Hooker's not very young,
not that I'd ever tell her so, no, not
even if we had an argument, and
when she's 90 to my 75
God takes her and then I'll be all alone
except for our children and grandchildren
who will just remind me of her and make
me sad so I'll sell the house and wander
 
the world, maybe go to the Bible lands,
wherever those are but well out of town,
and hire some disciples and say to 'em
Follow me and I will make you fishers
of men. I'll try to forget Miss Hooker
that way, and when I die I'll see her and
we'll hug and kiss again even though we
won't have bodies but that will be better
than any old Ferris Wheel because we'll
never come down again and have to wait
one seat at a time before we get off
even though it was really worth the wait,
and besides we ate cotton candy and
fried ice cream and went to the sideshow and
the house of mirrors and tunnel of love
and haunted house and back to our room at
the Motel 6 and watched cable TV
and woke up the next day throwing up and
 
if that isn't love then there is no God.


One day when I'm dead you'll be sorry I

say to my reflection in the mirror,
I have to blame somebody, at Sunday
School they say it's a sin to stick God so
while I don't exactly blame myself nor
nobody else I'm a reasonable
man even if I'm only ten years old
so I compromise and take it out on
someone close to me, some folks kick their dogs
or break things when they have conniptions, I just
stand in front of my bedroom mirror or
maybe the bathroom's, the light's better down
there, and warn the kid I see that he'll rue
the day that he was ever born, and once
I scared him away. But he came back strong.