JESUS FUCK JESUS FUCK OH GOD HELP ME OH FUCK GOD PLEASE

i loved her with my life. i loved her so purely that to entertain even a well-placed suspicion felt like a mortal wronging of her. struggling to find an answer that my heart would accept, my mind conjured up a thousand alibis — but alas, my square dick could not fit in her round hole. what is it that wise men say? “only fools rush in”? no. on the contrary, only fools say this. it is always wise to perish like icarus. wise men say “all is fair in love and war… uh, except for that! come on, man!”. all in war is so cold, you either win or lose. and love? it’s just a crazy game. even crazier than the simpsons: hit & run for the nintendo gamecube. how can anyone possibly win a game so unrelenting in its misdirections, so intense in its content, that it dwarfs even the trials of the simpsons: hit & run for the nintendo gamecube? to win, you must keep that love for the rest of your life, or bridge it with another. the flow of love must remain constant, as an IV drip would. in the end the loser is left standing alone, bereaved or heartbroken. anyways man, you wouldn’t believe how many people showed up to my funeral. it turns out i was pretty well-liked. i need you to know something though. those nightmares you’re having? where like, the disfigured corpses of mutant nazi stormtroopers break your door down, fill your loved ones to the brim with bullet holes, and set fire to your home while you’re forced to watch, before the knife one of them is holding to your neck finally slits it? that’s because of the curse. i died an unnatural death, which is why i’m here right now. and you’re cursed too. you have to kill yourself. so i can escape this limbo. kill yourself, david. break the curse before you hurt others. please. i’m fucking lonely.