i am a dead queer now

the waning moon is
soaking into the grass outside
hidden under my desk leaving the room lit
with a shade of twilight sparkle
hugging her friends
i’m the cutest motherfucker in my boyshorts and
chest adorned with noir-tinted palm trees
89F and pure lethal BAL
floating on a percocet haze
mind too steamed up for your bullshit
in the current moment
i’m hiding from sullen figures in
masonic polos and khakis

then this morning i forgot my lie
and the whole town warped w/ shame
the air around me seeped with venom
and i made the mistake of breathing in
the scent of a hot boy
woozy with lust my Y-blood distorts
i fall with poison between my teeth

waking mid-masturbation i sink away from my pupils
realizing my life is now secondary as a torrent forms
in my stomach

butane bleed out my throat and fuzz seering my skull
glittering vomit // bubbling along my tongue
leaving my lap a shimmering mess – reeks of ‘Feminine Daze’
girl-on-location-only

i slither outside to the swallowing moon
surrounded by mongooses rearing to decapitate
a faggot in heat

flick my wrist with dismiss and i’m impaled
on the next door neighbor’s picket fence
becoming the suburban sacrifice for the night
pale hands rummaging through my gaping chest
prying the womb – faded near past this earth –
from behind my lungs
hooded devil adorned in knee-high socks and
velcro sandals framing the gouging
of my womb meticulously w/ my pinkened eyes
as they wilt away // his face lit up past the
shadow of his old navy hoodie as he
slams a knife through – the tissue ashes against
metal

i’m solaced as my vision shreds to nothing
the perfectly cultivated st. augustine lawn grass
withering underneath the poaching
of something that i’d only wished for
that i’d been denied
and then mutilated for local entertainment