Desire

Let me be real, let me be succinct.

And really, this is the most succinct I can be. 

Because I’m writing what I know, and what I know is that Johnny Ganville’s mom is trying to remove the sperm from his dead testicles to make a kid. To continue their family name. 

Many people can’t sleep you know. There’s an unshaped nausea in the air. It falls slow, writhing into stomachs. 

But that isn’t all I know. 

So read closely, don’t disconnect. 

Johnny Ganville died two weeks ago swinging off the rock by the Arkansas River. You may have heard that much, it was in some news articles on Facebook. Rope snapped like in a movie is what they’re saying. 

No I’m not making this up. No that isn’t what I’m saying. 

It snapped and he fell forty feet, see brains on mossy rock. Green and red like a Christmas tree. Like neon under moonlight the way they shined. 

He doesn’t have any cousins or anything like that. Dad is dead. Gas station explosion in the nineties, you can read about that somewhere on the Internet. I don’t have time to get into the nitty gritty. All of that information is out there with pictures too. Black and white and scratched away, even online. See the transatlantic font, old lessons that taste new. 

This information is newer, the newest. 

It’ll be deeply valuable in many circles. 

So read quickly. 

Because I’m tryna be succinct. 

Johnny has a sister, but she won’t take the family name. She’s a determined careerist and they disowned her for her work. She doesn’t work much, but boy, does she put some elbow grease into it! She lives alone in another town, but she’s a real powerhouse online! She is a cinematographer, a choreographer, and an entrepreneur in the Top 0.1% of creators on OnlyFans. 

Johnny’s sister can sextort people, a scare for cash. I mentioned that she’s a real powerhouse online. A lean-in girlboss! She’s blond and thin and looks fake enough to be real, real enough

to be fake. Her focus areas: step-sibling content, butt-stuff. What can I say, I like what I like. I’m a person of the times, after all. Don’t pretend like you haven’t seen all of that stuff too. I’m the last person to judge! 

But recently, she’s been going on podcasts and talking about how real some of her content is. Strep throat after butt-to-mouth play, et cetera. We all thought it was a silly act. We didn’t think it was real. Nothing is anymore! 

It’s really dragging her name through the mud, you know. Soon she’ll be out of the Top 0.1% on OnlyFans. Johnny was really dragging her name through the mud, you know… Making posts about the podcasts talking about how she was embarrassing the Ganville family name. 

Now read a little closer. 

This is where things get interesting. 

Johnny was a porn addict — he was pornsick. He suffered from death grip, a truly terrible affliction. 

Johnny’s sister knew this. 

She made an anonymous OnlyFans, used targeted advertisements on the pornsick in Mattawa County with the tags: lonely, alienated, single. She is a real girlboss online! And there are more pornsick than you’d think. A whole recovery group, Johnny was one of them. We all are. 

Johnny’s sister started doing private shows for cheap, just for him. Feel Johnny’s desperation for connection. See his erect cock through the webcam filter, veiny and truncated and mushroom-like. It was exceptionally brief. Johnny didn’t care about the world around him. He only cared about the screen. 

His sister stockpiled photos of him, and when he continued to slander her, on Reddit and Twitter and Facebook and Telegram, she didn’t have any other choice! She demanded he give her more money than she knew he had, or she’d leak the photos online. She pressured him to all hell — she made him feel her wrath! 

But he didn’t care. He figured there were already tens, if not hundreds, if not thousands of compromising screen captures of him floating through the depthless infinitude of cyberspace. He told her do what you want! He said you can’t have my money! 

He ran from his computer to the big rock by the Arkansas River to cool off from the summer stick. He hiked up to where the swinging rope is, the one we used to play with when we were kids. He leaned over to grab the rope, but he never reached it.

No he didn’t fall. No he didn’t survive. 

See him plummet face first, brains go splat. 

His sister was overjoyed! She sent me all of the photos, said I was the best fan ever. She loved me, she did. I know that she did. 

Since Johnny’s death his mom is spun at her daughter’s whim. The sperm might not be harvestable, is what they’re saying. It’s becoming quite the ethical conundrum! 

There are courts, cross-examinations, judges, but no 

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