hide your heart
I never had an alarm clock that worked so I had to use my own screams as a wakeup call before going for a piss at 3am
Pay Day
It’s hard bringing the old hot oil out at the end of the night because the waitresses are usually camped in the alley behind the bar, smoking a joint and showing each other dick pics on their phones.
thousandyardstare
In a skirmish line, the squad runs around the wire of the base. We will get gassed today.
patti smith wont give me a bbbj
my girlfriend wanted to be patti smith when she grew up but we’re thirty now and she’s still dressing like Brody Dalle in 2006 so she’s running out of time.
bed
my friend asked me what i was doing. from my bed I said “getting groceries.”
swear jar
Me and my brother were dressed exactly the same in the back seat of my mom’s Valiant parked in front of the Ministry.
esc.
There’s never more than one bird in a painting on the wall of a mental health center.
A wooden lazer cut sign that says love
I posted an ad on Craigslist looking for a hundred people to come to my house and beat me to death.