art history

1.
michelangelo sometimes felt self conscious while carving or drawing dicks
he would pretend to be working on another part of the art if he heard someone
often he wasn’t fast enough or too focused
the pope would say “mike, you’ve been working on that dick for at least 8 days now
what do you say we move on? maybe the shoulders could use some work?”

2.
in the bottom
right corner
of the sistine mural
is a drawing
of a dick
covered
by a pope’s face

3.
the medici family is discussed in the town square
“they’re financing artists to paint and sculpt dicks!”

4.
in a social situation michelangelo says “sorry,
but i need to get back to the vatican
i just gotta finish shading
jesus’s dick”

5.
michelangelo and da vinci tell the public
they’re engaging in painting competitions
but just
measure their dicks