marcel’s advert

kathy found his name on a thumb tack board in the grocery store
she stopped in for some expensive cheese
right after she spent 300 dollars at the stationary store
and about a grand on wine
kathy was a dermatologist who was married to a plastic surgeon
they lived in a neighborhood that might as well have said whites only
even though they were all old liberals who lushed out and watched netflix every night
so anyway kathy needed hvac services and found marcel’s advert
she hired him
as did some of her friends
they referred to him as the black
they were all closeted racists with feel good lawn signs
so anyway marcel did his thing
then kathy hit on him
he laid pipe on her in her kitchen while her husband joe was installing new tits on so-and-so
kathy got knocked up, even though she was fifty
she wanted to keep it
she convinced joe that it was meant to be
but then on the birthday, well
you should have seen joe’s face
he was standing over the spread legs all happy
he was joking with the nurses, some of whom he knew
then a nurse made a face
then the head came out
it didn’t look like joe
not one bit
a young nurse shrieked with laughter
joe lost it
he beat up kathy in the hospital room
he started to strangle her
but the woman obgyn who did muay thai knocked him out cold
joe woke up in a hospital bed attended by a deputy
kathy came in
joe asked questions
he wanted to know everything
kathy said let’s just move on
joes sighed and said yeah you’re right
let’s just make the best of it
they gave up the baby for adoption
and slept in separate bedrooms until
joe went into a home with dementia

shaggitz

reading a crisp, new leonard michaels anthology

wondering about turkish rope
(an old saying about not mentioning rope
in the house of a man whose son was just hanged)

my wife wanted to marry a NJB
(nice jewish boy for zoomer jerks who
order shaving razors through social media
ghost companies)

i asked my wife if it mattered whether
i went to at least 20 bar mitzvahs in the 90s
i told her i can recite the entirety of Mase’s harlem world

she say’s it’s alright kid, you’re golden
(she has a big heart)

then her boyfriend picks her up in his green jaguar

and i go back to my stories

tonight

i was reading a book called adam’s diary
by knut faldbakken

he’s still alive…

there was this scene where a guy
submits to a rorschach test
but due to his psychic state,
all he can see are cunts and explosions

then i hear a rustle
in the next room over
it’s the room where i set out some
sticky pads to catch mice

there’s a mouse in one of them
he’s squealing
he wants to be free
he looks at me, pleadingly

i think of stomping him out
i’m barefoot
his innards would be all up in my toe cracks
but he’d be gone!
he wouldn’t be making a peep!
i get down next to him
on his level
i pry his feet from the glue
he limps away
he even looks over his shoulder at me
says i love you
in his way…

i go back to my novel
the one i am reading not writing
i’m tingly
i’m sad
i feel a waft of human consciousness
then it’s gone
then i’m back to my natural state
indifferent
secure
in wine

the tom tree

barry took a plea after trying to meet a 13-year-old
the judge ordered him into sex offender treatment that included group therapy
the group met once a week in a church space after an NA group
on the third week a guy named silas passed barry a note
it had an address
silas told barry that some of the guys get together outside of group
barry asked what it was about
silas said you’ll see
park in the park parking lot and walk the fields to the back of that house
barry did as directed
he got to the backyard of a large house
it was pitch black
barry heard a “psssst” from up in a tree
he looked up
there were seven or eight guys from the group perched up in a pine
it was one of those huge eastern white pines with giant boughs perpendicular to the trunk
silas was up there
he told barry to join
“find a branch but keep a social distance, hehehe” said silas
barry climbed up
some of the guys had their pants down
people were whispering
then someone went “shhh!”
all went silent
a woman in the house had entered a bathroom
she disrobed
“fuck yeah” from a stranger on a higher branch
“what a cunt” whispered another voice elsewhere in the boughs
barry could hear the sound of masturbation all around him
he was on a middle branch near silas
silas had a cold, fixed gaze
barry didn’t move
within a minute it sounded like the tree was raining
barry felt horrible
but he was complicit
everyone ran back through the park like wild horses
about a half dozen cars started up
barry never went back to the tree
people in the group snubbed him at the meetings
he was an outcast, got cold-shouldered
they sniggered behind his back
“that one’s too good for the tree.”
they put on airs, moved chairs away
it was god-damned horrible on probation.