“Calm”

Late one evening while I was writing up notes on the computer, I went outside for a smoke break. Most places on the far edge of the Green Zone, where I was that night, shut off non-essential lighting after dark to make it harder for rebel drones to look into our windows and catch us with our pants down (either literally, or in the military sense).

While outside, I caught sight of a peculiar series of lights in the local park and went to investigate.

I was lucky enough to step in on a group of Phenylalanine Syndrome-affected soldiers from Quiet Home floating in the glowy aura of a Flicker Man, getting their daily treatment. The scene was calming, in many ways.

Quiet Home gets a bad rap a lot in our media. It’s often said that, even by Agrarian standards, they promote anti-intellectualism.

The institutionalized korephilia/pederasty is what makes the majority of people cringe, though, and I can count myself among those disturbed by that. Most of these relationships seem like the very definition of abuse: a Nurse and her cognitively-disabled dependant in a bond that often contains dubiously consensual romance. Indeed, there are several troubling cases, like that of Seren-Ta, the Quiet Home administrator who used her position—along with bogus claims of “telepathic empathy”—to rape those under her care.

But in a war zone, it’s hard to see the bond that some Nurses have with their dependants as being wholly immoral.

At the park, I met an older Nurse named Morgan and her dependant, Daphne. The two were clearly in love. Daphne’s Phenylalanine Syndrome, as is often the case, had rendered her mute, and caused permanent, but largely inscrutable brain damage.

“In the stare,” Morgan told me, “That’s how we communicate. There’s so much tangible feeling in a person’s gaze. Animals, they have eyes. People have windows that show you their souls.” (You’re probably thinking “But Agrarians don’t have souls!” Do yourself a favor and don’t ruin the moment.)

When I asked her how they operated with their unit in battle, Morgan was frank, but kind.

“Tell you the truth, I do the fighting. She can carry ammo, and there have been times where her … well, different mindset—diminished ability to assess threats and shit—have definitely worked to her (and our unit’s) advantage. You can say she has retard strength and blissful ignorance; I say she has strong will and bravery.”

The piece of art attached here was made by Daphne (with a little help from Morgan), using undershrub resin and scissors and paper collage.