speedrun.txt
this is a game where you shoot up your high school.
to play, you first need to steal the professor’s chronometer.
School Shooter’s Girlfriend
I didn’t go to high school.
I stayed with the janitor instead.
He kept me in the boiler room.
I was a kind of pet, I guess.
The Edgelord at 35
Cho Seung-Hui died like Jesus Christ, but I’ve outlived both of them now.
Calligraphy
Dear Grasshopper, I’m glad I wasn’t born a cow.
Broken in Three Places
Somehow we were always expecting something like this, a strange wind off the Atlantic, moaning and cursing and full of old hurts,
Avoiding Disaster
Imagine that the bucolic picnic –
Which you happen serendipitously upon
Once you begin your walk in the woods –
Is actually a disaster:
Tulip
Suddenly, no one believes we walked on the moon.
BATTLE ROYALE
(ᵟຶ︵ ᵟຶ) (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ (ᵟຶ︵ ᵟຶ)
Phylactery
The wizard who raped you is dead.
A Hazy Shade of Postcolonial Melancholia
Is it still winter where you are? Do you have a dancing monkey to help you get through it?